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Dear Michael Jackson,

I regret being the bearer of bad news, but your song, "Man in the Mirror" is no longer considered the perfect song to do a poorly choreographed church dance routine to.

I know, I know, I was surprised too. Even though your song helped the homeless and had the beautiful, "make that change" whisper at the end, there's a better one out there.

I am of course talking about Gloria Estefan's, "Coming out of the dark." Have you heard that?

That song is so perfect for church youth groups that it almost feels like it was genetically engineered in a lab using the essence of Carmen and Sandi Patty. It's that perfect.

Look at the first verse, with what I feel are some pretty awesome dance instructions:"
Why be afraid if I'm not alone" (Hug yourself tightly as if you are by yourself)
"Though life is never easy the rest in unknown" (Move your head back and forth as if confused)
"Up to now for me it's been hands against stone" (Do a kind of mime thing like your hands are against stone)
"Spent each and every moment" (No ideas here, maybe jazz hands?)
"Searching for what to believe" (Put your hands to your eyes as if scanning the horizon)

That's just the first verse. The chorus is even better. And let's be honest, these have been a bumpy couple of years for you. Gloria, however is still out there doing it. She was on American Idol the other night.

Again, sorry to be the one to tell you this. And excuse the C-level quality of this joke, but I tried to warn you:

the rhythm is gonna get you.

HT: Stuff Christians Like