The Stuff Christians Like Subtle Guide To Finding Out
If Another Christian Drinks Too.
1. The Garage Poke
Studies show that 78% of all Christians hide their beer in the garage when people they don't know that well come over. OK, I conducted the study and the research methods are suspect at best, but trust me, it's true. Make up an excuse to go to the garage and then poke around. Don't snoop. Snooping is what the lady on "Murder She Wrote" did. Just poke, there's a huge difference.
2. The Move
This one takes commitment. You either have to help them move or move yourself. Is selling your house and buying a new one worth discovering if your friend drinks too? Depends, how long are you expecting to know them? What, you don't want to invest in them by faking a move across town? I guess you and I are different. The key is to see what type of moving boxes they use. People often go to liquor stores to get boxes when they move. Ask about the wine boxes they are using. If they say, "I had to go to that pit of hell liquor store for these," do not offer them a Sam Adams Summer Ale.
3. The Key Chain
This one is much easier to execute. Just look at their key chain. If they have a bottle opener on it, you're all set. No one ever drinks enough soda to need to carry a bottle opener around full time.
4. The Soda
Speaking of soda, bring a six pack of old school soda over as a housewarming gift. Make sure you bring bottles that have tops that will not unscrew. Then, watch carefully to see what they do next. Do they instantly go to the drawer where the bottle opener is? Do they seem familiar with it? Does it fit the contour of their hand easily from years of usage? Is there a picture of Bud Light's dog, Spuds Mackenzie on it? They might drink beer if there is.
5. The Anything
When you are going to come over their house, call a few days before and offer to "bring anything you need, like drinks." Make sure you stress the word "anything" over and over again. What is so great about this move is that it puts the pressure back on them. Now, they are faced with the decision to ask you to bring wine or Sprite. What will they say, what will they say? Oh the intrigue!
6. The Traveler
One of my favorite places on the planet is the Garage Cafe & Bar in Birmingham, Alabama. It's an antique store built out of old horse stalls with a huge open courtyard that spills a sea of statues and period furniture under a blanket of white Christmas lights and dark sky. At night it's a beautiful place to have a beer and feel poetic. If I tell you that story and the only words you hear are "bar" and "beer" then chances are we feel different about drinking. Tell a story about a place you've visited and see if the first reaction is, "A bar? You went to a bar? Do you think you'll get a fold out couch bed in hell or a bunk bed when you go?"
7. The Ask
Just come on out and say, "did you know Sam Adams Summer Ale has grains of paradise in it? It's a spice that someone felt deserved the name 'grains of paradise.' That's like building a car and naming it, 'super duper awesome bestest car in the world.' Do you enjoy premium lager like I do?" It's more direct but at least you won't have to stage a fake move.
Source: Stuff Christians Like
If Another Christian Drinks Too.
1. The Garage Poke
Studies show that 78% of all Christians hide their beer in the garage when people they don't know that well come over. OK, I conducted the study and the research methods are suspect at best, but trust me, it's true. Make up an excuse to go to the garage and then poke around. Don't snoop. Snooping is what the lady on "Murder She Wrote" did. Just poke, there's a huge difference.
2. The Move
This one takes commitment. You either have to help them move or move yourself. Is selling your house and buying a new one worth discovering if your friend drinks too? Depends, how long are you expecting to know them? What, you don't want to invest in them by faking a move across town? I guess you and I are different. The key is to see what type of moving boxes they use. People often go to liquor stores to get boxes when they move. Ask about the wine boxes they are using. If they say, "I had to go to that pit of hell liquor store for these," do not offer them a Sam Adams Summer Ale.
3. The Key Chain
This one is much easier to execute. Just look at their key chain. If they have a bottle opener on it, you're all set. No one ever drinks enough soda to need to carry a bottle opener around full time.
4. The Soda
Speaking of soda, bring a six pack of old school soda over as a housewarming gift. Make sure you bring bottles that have tops that will not unscrew. Then, watch carefully to see what they do next. Do they instantly go to the drawer where the bottle opener is? Do they seem familiar with it? Does it fit the contour of their hand easily from years of usage? Is there a picture of Bud Light's dog, Spuds Mackenzie on it? They might drink beer if there is.
5. The Anything
When you are going to come over their house, call a few days before and offer to "bring anything you need, like drinks." Make sure you stress the word "anything" over and over again. What is so great about this move is that it puts the pressure back on them. Now, they are faced with the decision to ask you to bring wine or Sprite. What will they say, what will they say? Oh the intrigue!
6. The Traveler
One of my favorite places on the planet is the Garage Cafe & Bar in Birmingham, Alabama. It's an antique store built out of old horse stalls with a huge open courtyard that spills a sea of statues and period furniture under a blanket of white Christmas lights and dark sky. At night it's a beautiful place to have a beer and feel poetic. If I tell you that story and the only words you hear are "bar" and "beer" then chances are we feel different about drinking. Tell a story about a place you've visited and see if the first reaction is, "A bar? You went to a bar? Do you think you'll get a fold out couch bed in hell or a bunk bed when you go?"
7. The Ask
Just come on out and say, "did you know Sam Adams Summer Ale has grains of paradise in it? It's a spice that someone felt deserved the name 'grains of paradise.' That's like building a car and naming it, 'super duper awesome bestest car in the world.' Do you enjoy premium lager like I do?" It's more direct but at least you won't have to stage a fake move.
Source: Stuff Christians Like
2 comments:
Do you drink Todd?
that's number 8 -- the DIRECT ask :-)
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