INTER:VIEW

Interview with Lance Burch, winner of Coolest Guy Contest

Congratulations, Lance on winning the "Coolest Guy" contest over on Todd's blog. Can you put into words what's going through your head right now?
I guess the biggest thing is surprise... especially with the margin of victory. I had no idea that the guys I spent a lot of time with while in Lufkin were so incredibly uncool. I guess being super-cool like me has its disadvantages - one of those being the uncool hangers-on.

Have you spoken to any of the other candidates? Do you have a message for any of those guys?
I have yet to receive a congratulatory call from any of them so... no, I haven't spoken to them. My message to the others would be this: Maybe cool is genetic - if I were you I would just focus on being friendly.

This really is probably hardest for Todd, don't you think? Why do you think Todd lost? Do more people genuinely feel that you are cooler or do you think there was some sort of backlash against Todd's ego there?
I am concerned that this whole thing has been a huge blow to Todd. And, although there is some level of coolness potential in Brandon T., so far he has only been able to tap into the "hey look at me I'm sarcastic and funny" side of his personality. This is the main reason that Todd lost... I hope he's ready for this truth.

Did you have a strategy in this? What you were doing online and in the public to encourage people to let their voice be heard in your honor?
You don't win these things by accident. We had people out on the street - showing video clips of me during my coolest moments and giving out the website so others could vote. The organization was mobilized in multiple locations and we got the win.I didn't do anything. You let your team speak for you. Nothing is more uncool than asking for a cool vote.

Jason and Robert made very poor showings. Thoughts on why?
Uh... they're not cool.

Do you think Jason's proximity to you was detrimental to him? As friends and neighbors and co-workers, do you think you ended up stealing votes?
Jason only benefits from proximity to me. If anything, he got some mercy votes from people that would have gone to me if he wasn't so approachable and friendly.

Todd is playing your youth camp in July of this year. Is that gonna' be awkward to see him in person? Do you know what you're going to say?
I always find it awkward to see Todd in person... but, that's a long story and one that I won't tell today. I sometimes talk about it in my support group; but, even they shudder when I speak of it. First we will hug. Then, I'm sure, the tears will flow like rain. I will say, "I'm sorry, Todd. I'm so so sorry." I think he will believe me... and then we will move on.

There are some rumors that you will now continue your campaign - that you'll make an effort to showing up on more blog polls for coolest guy or even, as one insider tells us, "best male rock vocal"? Any truth to these rumors?
While we did have some feelers out to see if I could be a viable Coolest Guy in the Nation candidate, we gave up on that effort when we discovered that there was no such contest. I am currently working with the "powers that be" to initiate one.The "best male rock vocal" rumor was started when I totally rocked out to "Wanted - Dead or Alive" at Belisimo's Karaoke night. I am worried that as I age, I am going to lose the classic rock shriek that has been my calling card.

These sort of elections are hard on families. You have any vacation plans with your family now that this amazing journey has come to an end?
You know, the campaign was hard. But, they knew that I was doing this for them. This is all about securing the future... for my children. I am getting a little misty eyed even as I type this. Just think, what kind of difference would it have made in your life if your dad had been cool? We are taking some time off for travel... just the kids and me. I am billing it as an adventure vacation. We are calling it: Let's go find Mom!Seriously, if you hear from Amy... tell her we miss her and to come home.

Do you have a theme song for your campaign victory?
Word Up... by Cameo (not Korn)

For more campaign info from Burch HQ, check out http://www.iftheywouldjustlisten.blogspot.com/.