Inside the offices of J.J. Abrams, creator of LOST. Monday Morning, 9:14am.

ASSISTANT 1
(phone to ear, whispering to others in the room)
What do I say? What do I say?

ASSISTANT 2
You'll think of something. Just get him here.

(A voice answers on other end of the line.)

ASSISTANT 1
Mr. Abrams?
Yes, this is Joseph at the office. Good morning.

ABRAMS
What is it?

ASSISTANT 1
Well, the deal is, uh, we reallly don't know what to do. You know, with the show.

ABRAMS
Show?

ASSISTANT 2
What's he saying? Is he coming?

ASSISTANT 1
Uh, "Lost," Mr. Abrams. We need to know what happens next. The network is calling every day wanting to know when they'll get the next show.

ABRAMS
Uh, maybe, uh, Jack could be Claire's, uh, half-brother or something?

ASSISTANT 1
We did that already.

ABRAMS
We did? Okay, uh. Let's bring Locke's dad onto the island.

ASSISTANT 1
Sir? How are...how do we...how would that work?

ABRAMS
I DON'T KNOW, OKAY? DON'T YOU GUYS GET IT? I NEVER HAD A FAT CLUE WHAT THE HECK WAS GOING ON ANYWAY!
IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!

WE WERE SUPPOSED TO CANCELLED BEFORE THIS!

HOW AM I GOING TO PULL THIS OFF, JOSEPH?

WHAT DO I DO?

PEOPLE WANT ANSWERS! THEY WANT ANSWERS AND I DON'T HAVE THEM.

IT'S JUST A SHOW. A STUPID SHOW....
(Sobbing)

I'm Mad As Hell and I'm Not Gonna' Take It Anymore

Dear ABC,
At a time you find most convenient, please refund the three years of my life I've wasted on your completely foolish prime time drama entitled "LOST." You've given me nothing for my trouble. You took three months off during late 2006 so that we could have "all-new" shows in 2007 that "answered" our questions. Well, I haven't one question answered.
I think your struggling, Mr. Abrams. I think you and your team have dug yourself into a whole and you don't have a fat clue how to pull yourself out of it.
I am done. You get no more of my Wednesdays, ABC. No more. I put a stop to it, right now.