INTER:VIEW - Clay Walker

INTER:VIEW is a new feature of Todd Blog where I interview my friends to showcase how rockin' awesome they are. According to the rules of INTER:VIEW, the interview post with the most comments will win a free guest-blogging spot in the future.

#1. Good morning.

Good morning, Todd.

#2. Thank you for your time. It's an honor to speak with you.

You bet. You're absolutely right...it is an honor to speak to me.

#3. First off...the question on everyone's mind...How's The Beard?

The beard is doing fine. Thanks for asking.

#4. Any plans to tend it in any way?

Well...I tend to it everyday. I wash it, condition it, brush it. If you mean, "hey, are you going to cut it anytimesoon?", then my answer is a resounding, "no".

#5. Do you think it's sad that, after my Southern Gospel post, Rachel Fullen tried to distance herself from us?

I do think it's sad. However, I understand because she was brought out into the open at camp a couple of weeks ago. Ifind that some so-called fans of SGM are "closet" fans. When word gets out...those folks tend to back-peddle. I don't hold it against her, though.

#6. You've always been a "Gold City Quartet" man, correct?

Yes, I am a big fan of Gold City. In fact, my youth ministryin Crockett sponsored a Gold City concert back in 1998. It was fantastic.

#7. A lot of people don't know that you have a beautiful singing voice. In fact, years ago, you used to sing almost as much as you traveled to speak and do comedy, right?

Thank you, Todd. Yes, I do have a beautiful singing voice.It's quite fantastic. In high school I traveled quite a bit singing. Oh, those were the days...a jam box, accompaniment tracks of Ray Boltz, SCC, Steve Camp, Steve Green and Wayne Watson, an open road, a hot mic, and eager ears anticipating the smooth sultry melodic voice of a mid-pubescent teenager. I also had the opportunity to perform as the bass soloist withthe Dallas Symphony Orchestra as a freshman in college. If I'm not mistaken it was Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. Lots of fun.

#8. Do you support my theory that every youth pastor secretlywants to be a worship leader?

Yes. There are two reasons. The reason is that I findstudents do not react the same way to a sermon. I mean...you don't see hands "raising the roof" or enthusiastic orchestration of rushing the stage...unless I whip them into a frenzy with a good alter call.

#9. You know I based that theory on you, right?

Yes, I know.

#10. I also remember a picture circulating around at one point. That picture depicted you with a mullet. That's not areal picture, is it?

Oh, yes it is my friend. I sported the mullet and did so with honor. In fact, when I finally cut it off it was 11 inches in length in the back. It was beautiful.

#11. You were a rocker, huh?

Yes, I was. In high school I was quite the metal head. I loved AC/DC, Metallica, Slayer, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, and lots of others. I also had a love for the hairbands...Poison, Twisted Sister, and the like. My favorite band in high school was Def Leppard. Rick Savage, Rick Allen, Steve Clark, and my hero, lead singer, Joe Elliot. I wore acid washed jeans that were ripped to shreds, bandannas on mywrists, and torn shirts. Joe was my inspiration for the mullet. All of this is sad...but true.

#12. And yet, now, you love country music. What's wrong with you?

I was raised on country music. It's my roots.

#13. Early on in Brad Paisley's career, you were quoted as saying that Paisley would "save country music." Do you think that's happened?

No. I spoke out of line. He is good...I love his music. If country music survives all the pop-country crap, it will be because of Alan Jackson and George Strait.

#14. And lastly, why do you drive so fast? (Without a seatbelt...)

I drive fast so I can get to where I'm going more quickly than if I drive slow. I don't like seat belts because they are uncomfortable and they wrinkle my shirts.

A former mullet-wearing punk teenager who also traveled as a CCM-karaoke-singer who also loved country music and now races around town without a seatbelt on as it stares at his massive goatee. Doesn't that kind-of-guy deserve some comments?

This Man Has No Heart, Part III...

Late Tuesday night, I received the following email from the Customer Service Representative for U.S. Airways at Baltimore-Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport.

Mr. Wright,

As you were informed on Friday, July 11th, it is the policy of this airline to make inquiries to any and all passengers who visit any of our fine medical facilities.

Upon review of your profile, we see that you were treated by one of our staff doctors for "severe trauma" and "fevered anxiety." Although our doctor at BWI released you for flight, it is the recommendation of our Customer Service Plus Program that you seek medical and/or psychological attention to assist you in recovery from Friday's incident.

Below, please find diagnosis and notes from James Jameson, MD, who visited with you on Friday afternoon.

"Found Mr. Wright to be fatigued and angry. Upon examination, found that Mr. Wright was suffering from what appeared to be a major mental break, most likely from an altercation that occurred just before Mr. Wright and his companion, Mr. Grimes, entered the airport. Mr. Grimes was deemed fine, but Mr. Wright will most likely suffer something akin to post-traumatic-stress-disorder until properly treated once home. Advised attendants and pilots to keep close eye on Mr. Wright during all flights and gate connections."

Mr. Wright, we strongly advise that you seek medical attention as soon as possible. We hope that you will continue to make US Airways your airline of choice for all your travels.

Sincerely,
Tom Tomlinson
Cust. Care

This Man Has No Heart, Part II...

I mean, he seems so sweet, doesn't he?

He comes from a good family. His wife is tender-hearted wife and two wonderful children.

He's a gifted communicator.

He's funny.

And he will try to tell you that he is a sensitive soul.

When hearing someone share their burdens and woes, his eyes will tear us and he will pat them on the back and it will look like he cares.

But it is fake.

He is a fake and a phony and a cold-hearted snake. Look into his eyes...he's been telling lies.
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This Man Has No Heart is a week-long smear campaign intent on destroying the 'character' that Clay Walker has established in this community. This blog will not rest until it has pulled Walker from every high and lofty place of prominence and trust.

This Man Has No Heart...

This is Clay Walker.

Last week, he was featured on this blog as both a part of our camp experience and the owner of a fascinating beard.

I devoted a significant amount of time and energy to this man. Because I care about him.

But he does not care about me.

Why would I say such a thing?

Here's why....

Kyle Grimes and I flew into Baltimore late last Sunday night. We waited for our other bandmates to arrive, then headed to our homes for the night. Forrest and Justin stayed with the Fullens, while Kyle and I crashed in the basement of Lance and Amy Burch. Clay, who arrived on Saturday, was also staying at Lance's house.

Upon arrival, we talked for a bit, then all went to bed.

The next morning, we all packed our gear to head out for camp.

At some point during this load-up, Clay asked Lance if we would be coming back to the Burch's house before heading to the airport once camp was over.

Now, there are a few problems with the whole exchange. They are not critical to the point of Clay's heartlessness, but they certainly deserve retelling. In this matter, Clay made a few faulty assumptions....

#1. That Lance already knew all of our flight times on Friday afternoon and knew who would be delivering us to the airport.

#2. That Friday's closing service and load-out times were a given.

Lance reportedly answers, "Sure, we can come back," and Clay decides to leave two t-shirts, a pair of shorts and a belt at the house. (I'm not exactly sure why - surely they would have fit in his suitcase?)

We go to camp. Camp is good. And on Thursday night, I talk to Jason about load-out. As he starts hearing our different flight times, he starts to get that we'll-never-make-that look. I am not a fan of this look.

On Friday, we load as fast as possible and begin structuring the vehicles in such a way so that Kyle and I get to our flight (which was first in the order...)

The problem was then revealed...rather than driving straight back to the church, we had to go significantly out of our way to pick up four articles of clothing from Lance's home.

Hear me now - I wasn't that mad at Clay for leaving his stuff. Kyle and I weren't stressing the departure or anything. I wasn't mad at Lance for answering Clay's question in the affirmative.

But I was mad nonetheless.

You know what Clay said when all of this confusion erupted? When it was realized that his shorts and shirts and belt might actually cause us to miss our flight?

Nothing.

No apologies. No "oh-gosh-guys-I-never-thought-about-that." As a matter of fact, when I said, "Clay, don't you even feel a little bit bad about this?" He said this:

"No! I mean, if you miss your flight, I might feel bad about it, but no. I'm not sorry. Lance told me we could come back."

Lance-told-me-we-could-come-back was pretty much his only defense, as evidenced by the 53 times he said it to us.

It was an unfortunate, but manageable, set of circumstances. That, we could deal with.

But one of my best friends so blatantly disregarding my concern and so flippantly speaking to me?

That was a huge hurt to me, and because of that, for the next five days this blog will be running a series that will seek to smear and castigate and ridicule one Mr. Clay Walker.

And maybe, he'll learn the lesson we all need to learn.

You do not mess with Todd Blog.

Clay has been notified of this week's blogging theme and is free to defend his actions here on the blog or via any other suitable online forum. But hopefully not his own blog, because it is totally lame.

Clay's Giant Beard

Another New Feature? What's This?

A while back, Clay started a new feature on his blog called "props."

It's a great idea...a nice little encouragement for his friends and family. So, in that same spirit, I figured I'd give some props myself. (Although, I have a cool logo for mine.) I think Clay does his every Tuesay. Not sure if mine will post on a consistent day...might be a bit more random over here!
_____________________________________
My first edition of "props" goes to this gal.

It may be a tad predictable to make my wife the first one celebrated on this thing, but hey, I can't always be full of surprises, can I?

Here are a few reasons why I think she's so great.

1. Smart. Seriously, amazingly, almost frighteningly, smart. Usually finds an answer to problems before most folks know there's something wrong.

2. A great mom. I love to watch her raise our kids. She's raising them to be intelligent, respectful little beings. (A hard job, to be sure!)

3. The Voice. Come on...she's still got one of the coolest voices around. I am still listening to All The Freed just to hear how amazing she sounds.

4. Hot.

5. Funny in all kinds of ways. She has a very sharp wit, but also a silly side that only I get to see.

6. She knows me completely...and loves me anyway.

7. She's the one I was meant to be with. I have no doubt of that. I believe she's the absolute perfect one God had in mind for me.

8. When I'm out of line, she calls me on it.

9. When I'm rattling off about a dozen different dreams or ideas, she listens and supports me, even though she knows I probably won't do any of them. (Us dreamers need that, because every once in awhile, we actually chase one!)

So, here's to you, baby. Premiere "props" to you.

HOOKUPS...

Most of you know that I like Paul Baloche.

Okay, okay...who are we kidding? I love Paul Baloche.

Shortly after the record came out, I asked Paul's assistant if I could mail one to Paul as a thank you for all that his music has meant to me over the years.

Frank says to send it, so I do.

Now, I imagine that Paul receives lots of CDs in the mail, most of them "unsolicited," so I was cool if they didn't have time to listen to it.

Last week, Casting Crowns, Leeland and John Waller came to Nacogdoches (this gross little city next to Lufkin.) I get a text on the night of the concert from my good buddy Clay Walker. The text reads:

i'm with paul baloche right now

I try to text him back to see what in the heck is going on and find out that Paul is at the concert in Nacogdoches. Beyond that, I can't really figure out what's going on.

The next morning, I call Clay. It goes something like this:

TODD
What the heck?

CLAY
Dude, he was at the Casting Crowns concert. He and Mark Hall are like best friends.
...
It was so cool man,

TODD
So, did you -

CLAY
He's a little guy!

TODD
Right, so were you able to ask him -

CLAY
But fit! Boy, he is a fit guy!

TODD
Good...so, did you guys happen to talk about -

CLAY
He thought it was so cool that I was from Mineola...you know, I from there and that's his neck of the woods...

TODD
Clay...

CLAY
I mean, this is PAUL BALOCHE! The guy who writes so many songs that my church sings!

TODD
But, Clay -

CLAY
It was awesome.

TODD
Clay, Clay, Clay, Clay...
Tell me you asked him if he got the CD...tell me you talked about it.

CLAY
Um. No, I didn't.

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So, if you don't mind...please email Clay at clay@fbclufkin.org and leave him a very rude comment about betrayal or the true nature of friendship or some such meanness.

Then we'll all feel better.

(By the way, there is a silver lining to this story...but it will have to wait...)

Tuesday With Clay (A Tale Of Robbery)

Every Tuesday morning, I have breakfast with Clay Walker, my good friend. On the way to breakfast this morning, I saw a guy doing some work on the side of the road and the individual was wearing a Bluetooth headset. I thought to myself...I'm going to blog about this. And I fashioned it in my head. My imagined blog would feature a picture of a guy with a headset read:

Is it just me or do we all automatically hate this guy?

An hour later, Clay and I are in our local Chick-Fil-A and I see a guy with a Bluetooth headset come in. Clay isn't facing the door, so I start saying, "I have this blog idea." But, before I can tell him, Clay sees the guy. Clay then exclaims, "I'm gonna' blog about this."

I say, "No, man, that's what I was telling you..." and I share what I wanted my blog was going to say. Clay didn't seem to be listening and kept saying "I'm gonna' blog this - I'm gonna' blog this - I'm gonna' blog this," so as a courtesy, I told him to blog his idea.

Imagine my surprise when I saw this:
www.claytonwalker.blogspot.com.

Now, we all make jokes about Clay stealing materials and he's always so quick to defend himself. Well, not today. I humbly ask each and every one of you to go Clay's blog and post this comment word-for-word.

"You stole this blog from Todd, and that is not cool."

Help me show this man for what he is.

Breakfast With A Worship Celebrity

Jonah and I went to Chick-Fil-A this morning to eat breakfast with Clay. (Clay and I try to meet once a week and talk about how awesome I am.) Kristen is still sick, so Jonah got to come along.

Everything was cool, we're gnawin' on chicken biscuits, when suddenly, I see John Sherrill walk in.

I look over at Clay and say, "Hey, I think John Sherrill just walked in."

Clay says, "What?"

John comes around the corner and Clay (of course) yells out "John Sherrill!"

So John and his band park it and we talked for about ten or fifteen minutes. Somehow the conversation went from being pretty normal (John headed to a gig) to talking about Clay's vasectomy. That was weird.