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Sunday, July 27, 2008

Instruments Of Cool...

Robert Conn and I have a sickness. It has never been officially diagnosed, so I don't have a name for it. However, I call it LIVE MUSIC SYNDROME (or LMS.)


This means that when Robert or I hear live music in any form, we must find it. And listen/watch for as long as humanly possible. I actually think Robert's disease is a bit more severe. That guy will listen to anything as long as it's live. I'd like to think that LMS has yet to rob me of all my taste.

As I was thinking about LMS recently, I realized that certain instruments create different reactions. If I walk up to a stage and see one type of instrument, I feel excitement, joy, purpose and fervor. Other instruments cause me to be more inclined to dismiss the performance all together. So, I've compiled two lists: Instrument of Cool (stuff that draws me to a performance) and Instruments of Blah (stuff that pushes me from a performance.)


INSTRUMENTS OF COOL (in order)
1. Steel Guitar
It has always been my belief that steel guitar makes any type of music cool. For country music, it makes the old stuff sound even twangier and the new stuff actually sound like country. For alt country, it's weepy and sad. For rock, its genius. And for worship - well, there's not much steel guitar in worship. But there should be...worship has pretty much played the ambient-delay-guitar into the ground, but I think steel is one of the most emotive, sweeping sounds around. We should be using it more in our songs of praise. I tend to prefer "pedal steel" above all others, but "lap steel" or "dobro" work just fine, too.
2. Cello
If I see a cello, I know it's probably gonna' be good. I've yet to see a cello player on stage who's no good. The only problem is seeing one on stage and then only getting to hear it on 2 songs.
3. Mandolin
I'm also grouping bouzuki and mando-guitar in here, as they are variations on a theme. Seeing a mandolin can mean a couple of things: lightning fast bluegrass or cool, high strung jamming underneath the overall mix. Either one works, really.
4. Banjo
Banjo's always a gamble, because there's a chance you'll be hearing some steamboat-era-banjo strumming, which tends to annoy. Otherwise, the banjo adds some awesome percussive elements to the set. (I will say here that I do draw a definite line between a "real" banjo and the "guitar banjo," which is strung, tuned and played exactly like a guitar. While the guitar banjo is certainly an easy way for a guitar player to fake it, I'd rather hear the real deal. I'm looking at you, Keith Urban.)


INSTRUMENTS OF BLAH (in order)
1. Horns
I'm sorry. I hate them. I know they're incredibly hard to play and that I'm a fool to dislike them, but horns are definite instruments of blah. I tend to respond most negatively to a single instrument, like a sax or trumpet in a band, but all horns send me the other way.
2. Two kick drums
This, no doubt, stems from my general displeasure with "double bass" in general. But at least w/ one kick, there's still a chance I can be fooled. And two kick drums just look weird, in my opinion.
3. Stacks of keyboards
Sorry...I know they may be capable of 26,000 different sounds, but nothing freaks me out more than a 3+ keyboards. (I understand the 2 keys situation...usually one dedicated "piano" and then a synth module. But more than 2? Blah.)

Okay! Your turn!
Rather than you griping at me because you think I'm an idiot, tell US your "Instruments of Cool" and "Instruments of Blah." You can explain them if you like or just give us a quick list!

6 comments:

chrismaroon said...

Okay, I have the exact same affliction. I love to watch/listen to live music....done well. And I also completely agree with your instruments of cool and your instruments of blah. Really like the dobro and lap steel especially. Slide electric, too.

I would however, like to add the violin/fiddle to the cool list. No matter how great a "key" string player is, there is no substitute for the real deal. The dynamics of the violin/fiddle player are so powerful, especially in worship, but in general with all tunes. Alison Krauss has one of my favorite voices, but man, you throw her fiddle in with it. Perfection. Used to feel that way about the Dixie Chicks, but, you know, that deep end they fell off of just ruined it for me. Kinda like the whole Tom Cruise - Scientology thing. Can't watch him, can't listen to the Chicks. Wanta go ride our bikes? Sorry bout the ADD moment.

But back to the original point. VIOLIN/FIDDLE -> Cool
Good percussion -> Cool (Romack)

If I actually think of any other "blah" intruments, I'll add them.

Dale Best said...

I have only two words for you.

Robert. Randolph.

Anonymous said...

Cowbell... that's all I'm saying

Johnny! said...

Great. I have two kicks. And to make matters worse, they're different sixes, and the big one has a double pedal. I'm a repeat offender.

A double bass setup is the proper way for the drummer to sit.

A turntable pushes the band beyond blah.

A mellotron outcools everybody.

Robert Conn said...

Coolness = I've always enjoyed seeing me a live dobro. Just the fact that a person has a dobro earns them cool points in my book.

Blahness = Organ. Not like the ever-cool B3 or Rhodes but I'm talking the old school foot pedal stop-pulling organ. I can't stand it.

Artie said...

You know there was a time in my life that a tamborene would have sent me running over the nearest hill..NOT cool, but we have a lady that does so many cool things with ours that I no longer have that affliction. She is our percussionist and she plays all kinds of weird things.. hooves.. yes like off goats or pigs or something..strung on a string.. shake them just right and it is the coolest sound..and some african cat thing that when you bend it back and fourth it makes some kind of sound..don't know what but it's great!..and chimes..

But I digress...

I guess because of my time in Austin in the early 80's and hearing the likes of Thomas (Toe-Mas)Ramirez on the sax with the Lost Gonzo Band I have to say I love the sax done well... Not big on other horns but the sax has it's own place in "cooldome".

Blah- Except for my Sharon in our band the tamborene still scares the heck out of me. I guess that's not really a blah but you get the point.