Thank you…
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Todd Wright and I am extremely happy to talk to you today. I want you to know how much I appreciate you and your willingness to come out here and talk about the real issues that matter to real Americans!
(Hold for applause.)

I don’t want to take too much of your time today, and the fact of the matter is that there are way too many issues to discuss in a meeting like this. But I want you to know that I care about the issues and that I’ve made a personal commitment to fully investigate each and every issue that my constituents are concerned with.
(Hold for applause/laugher/affirmation.)

Today, very briefly, I want to focus on the cornerstone of my platform.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for America to decide on one type of debit card machine AND TO PUT THAT MACHINE IN EVERY COMMERCIAL BUSINESS IN THIS GREAT COUNTRY OF OURS!

(Hold for applause – might stand.)

I’m not gonna’ lie to you folks. I’m not. I’ve got nothing against debit cards. I think they are the true genius of America’s banking giants, but I gotta’ tell you that these machines are getting out of hand.

Tell me something: this sound familiar?

At your local gas store, you pop out that debit card you and slide it face up, just like it sits in your wallet or your purse.

Then you head down to your local supermarket. You’re standing in line, ready to pay, but does that machine accept the card the same way as the gas station. (Sarcastically)NO!
No, of course not.

At the grocery store, you’ve got to crouch over the liquid crystal display and try to understand that tiny little drawing they’ve given you so you can know how to put the card in. Oh, you face it toward the girl working the register.

Take your family to a nice restaurant and try to pay that? Oh, they got a machine alright, but you ain’t touching it.
(Play up anger.)

No, you give this little card to some 17 year-old kid on probation and he takes your card off in the back and has his way with it!
(Hold. Hold. Wait. Go.)

(Build excitement.)
In the spirit of every great American before you, you work yourself to death to provide for your family and now, you’ve got to waste valuable time that YOU COULD BE SPENDING WITH YOUR FAMILY until some high-school dropout finally shows you that, no, you’ve got flip the card over, turn it backwards and slide it from right to left!

(Hold for applause. If they don’t, ask "Does anybody feel me out there?")

(Softly now, show concern.)
People, I’m not a trouble-maker. I’m just a regular guy like you. I know what its like to work an 8-5, take kids to soccer and music, make sure the water heater is working and make sure that my family is provided for.
I’m not try to stir up anything, but there are times

(Hold. Crease forehead.)
Ladies and gentlemen, there are times when a man can either stand up for stay hidden in the crowd. Well, I’m standing up.

(Possible light affirmation.)
I’m standing up.

(Affirmation will build.)
I’m standing up to say that
I will not stay at your gas pump and try to read tiny writing. (Pound podium!)
I will not allow some child I don’t know to cart off my valuable card to a dark room behind the kitchen. (Pound behind – the – kitchen!)

I will not be forced to get sliding suggestions from someone I don’t know!
It stops here!

(Speak over ovation.)
It stops here!It stops here!
IT STOPS HERE! THIS IS AMERICA, I’M AN AMERICAN AND I WANT TO REPRESENT YOU THIS FALL! I’M STANDING UP TO SAY THIS IS MY COUNTRY AND I WANT TO MAKE IT BETTER.
THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AND MAY GOD BLESS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

(Exit quickly, stage right. Be done waving by the time you get to stairs.)