Things Bound To Happen While I'm On Vacation

• I'll abandon my diet approximately three hours into the drive. A man can't be expected to drive for 10 hours with a steady flow of Big Red and little chocolate donuts, gang.
  
  
• The kids will decide that they've already seen every movie we have and will turn off the DVD player so they can spend the rest of the trip arguing about who's the "awesomest."
  
  
• When I make that right turn to pull into Rosemary Beach, a long, weighted sigh will escape from my lips and I will know...that vacation has begun.
  
  
• My kids will get up before the sun and beg us to take them to the beach. And that will be fine with me.
  
  
• There will be long stretches of time where I'll get to hold my wife's hand.
  
  
• At some point, I'll realize there probably isn't much better than playing with your kids in the ocean.
  
  
• My wife will let me take a lot of naps. (Right, Krist?)