Surprising News for 2009

New York, New York (AP) - Startling news today from U2. Paul McGuinness, long-time manager and business front for the band, announced earlier today that one of the world's biggest bands has decided to make some personnel changes.

This comes as a shock to most, as the band is set to embark on a massive media blitz to promote their new album, No Line On The Horizon, which is tentatively set for a February 2009 release.

"I don't think people are surprised there's been a change," McGuinness said in an interview. "I think they're just shocked at which member is leaving."

McGuinness is speaking of the departure of U2's guitarist and de-facto musical director, "The Edge."

The manager is quick to answer fans who are upset by the change.
"Edge is still very much a part of the band. It's just time. Enough with the delay, already. You know?"

But the band is moving on. The story leaked over the weekend on a couple of U2-related fan blogs, drawing varied responses from fans all over the world. Not only has the band asked The Edge to step down, they've filled his spot with an unknown guitar player from the U.S.

"The band is happy with Todd. They think he'll be a great fit."

McGuinness is speaking of Todd Wright, the 32-year old Texan now slated to fill the electric guitar spot. Wright is a long-time fan of the band and can already play 2 or 3 of their songs on acoustic guitar.

"I hope the guys know that I'm more of an acoustic guy," Wright shared in an interview this morning. "I'm not real strong on the electric guitar, but I'm on a diet and I've purchased 25 beanie caps. Somebody from the wardrobe department is going to sew sequins on my jeans and buy some skinny, non sequitur t-shirts for me. I mean, the music is mostly programmed anyway."

U2 frontman, Bono, could not be reached for comment. McGuinness admitted the transition would be a difficult one, but stated that every band has to walk through difficult times like these to grow as people and musicians.

Wright is optimistic. "I can't wait to hear all those songs live." When reminded that he would have to actually play the songs live, the young guitar player ended the interview and cried in the men's room for half-an-hour.