Last fall, Kristen and the kids and I moved into my parent's house. (Not with my parents...they moved to a new place.)So, we rent this big log home out in the country now. (The house I pretty much grew up in.)
On Thursday morning, my Dad had some exterminators come by the house to spray for bugs - summer in the country, you know...
I held off going into work so I could be home when they showed up. They began spraying around the house and after fifteen minutes or so, they knocked at the door.
"Can you come out here?" The head-exterminator asked.
"Uh, sure," I say.
"You've got a visitor."
So, I step outside. They walk me to one of the side porches, where a small snake is peeking out from a small hole at one of the corners of the house. He was in the attic.
I'm terrified of snakes. Terrified. Terrified.
I call work to tell them I'm gonna' be late, then call my grandfather, who is an expert at assassinating evil reptiles. Within minutes, he's at my house with an extremely long garden hoe.
But as soon as we get close, he crawls back in the house.
A hour or so later, we spot him again. But he spotted us and crawled back in.
So, on Friday morning, my Dad comes, crawls into the attic with a head lamp, a pistol and a bag full of mothballs. Eventually, me and the family leave for a day of Friday fun. My dad keeps saying, "He'll get out of there. Don't worry, that will get him out."
A few hours later, we get home. I'm heading to unlock the front door, Kristen and Jonah are behind me and Finley is waiting in the car for somebody to carry her in. I put the key in, look up, and there he is.
I yell for Kristen and Jonah to get back and I get the shovel. I look at this guy for a few minutes and then suddenly, he starts crawling back in. That's when Todd springs into action.
I gave a lightning fast chop with the shovel.
And he crawls back in.
A few minutes later, we see that the dude is still hiding up by the door. My dad and I load up some "rat shot" in a small .22 and run the barrel in and shoot him.
He's still there, but not moving.
We drag him out to find that he died of a lightning-fast-shovel-chop courtesy of yours truly.
The .22 just added insult to injury, I guess.
And here is the vile creature who turned our lives upside down for two days.
2 comments:
I once saw this movie about a guy who, through a series of events, discovered that he was a government assassin and he was skilled in all sorts of combat.
I only bring that up because he had the same reflexes that you described yourself having in your snake story.
How much do you actually know about your past Todd??
... not to be the bearer of BAD news or anything ... but I have always heard that those "rattled headed copper mocassins" travel in bunches ... you know like ... 5 or 6 at a time ...
... so you "got" the "scout" but what about the "king" and "queen" ... not to mention brothers and sisters ?
... just sayin'
DWC
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