Every night, I go upstairs with Jonah at bedtime. We read or I tell a story, then his little stuffed monkey, Albert, does a bit of a show, we pray and then I lay by Jonah for a few minutes as his little body begins to calm down.
If you've ever spent much time around Jonah, you know he runs non-stop from sunrise to long after sunset. On particularly tired nights, I end up falling asleep beside him and then waking up ten or fiteen minutes later aching from contorting my body to fit on his little bed.
Tonight, for some reason, Jonah was more active than normal. Rather than laying on his side, with his back to me, he cuddled up to me with Snorey Bear, a giant stuffed bear he sleeps with. I asked him why he wasn't laying on his side like normal and he said in a sleepy voice:
"I just want to hold you..."
So I snuggled up to him and smiled as he took one of my hands and absent-mindedly moved his hand back and forth on mine.
That's when it hit me.
Jonah will probably never remember tonight. I doubt he's even aware that for the first time, I laid in the crook of his arm instead of him laying in mine. But I'll remember.
Jonah is smart, but what Jonah doesn't know is how many times a day I whisper my thanks to God for that kid - how many times a day I wage spiritual warfare for the heart of the man that Jonah's gonna' be. Jonah doesn't, and will never, know how much I love him and how even the smallest acts of devotion and adoration from his heart mold and shape who I am.
Some posts on this blog are for you all - written in the hope of learning more about you the reader or get your collective wisdom on a particularly odd or tricky spiritual concept.
But not this one.
This post is for me.
This post is written so I can keep coming back to that moment earlier tonight - to relive it and rejoice for those moments where God uses a little one to literally fill your heart and mind with light and joy.
If you've ever spent much time around Jonah, you know he runs non-stop from sunrise to long after sunset. On particularly tired nights, I end up falling asleep beside him and then waking up ten or fiteen minutes later aching from contorting my body to fit on his little bed.
Tonight, for some reason, Jonah was more active than normal. Rather than laying on his side, with his back to me, he cuddled up to me with Snorey Bear, a giant stuffed bear he sleeps with. I asked him why he wasn't laying on his side like normal and he said in a sleepy voice:
"I just want to hold you..."
So I snuggled up to him and smiled as he took one of my hands and absent-mindedly moved his hand back and forth on mine.
That's when it hit me.
Jonah will probably never remember tonight. I doubt he's even aware that for the first time, I laid in the crook of his arm instead of him laying in mine. But I'll remember.
Jonah is smart, but what Jonah doesn't know is how many times a day I whisper my thanks to God for that kid - how many times a day I wage spiritual warfare for the heart of the man that Jonah's gonna' be. Jonah doesn't, and will never, know how much I love him and how even the smallest acts of devotion and adoration from his heart mold and shape who I am.
Some posts on this blog are for you all - written in the hope of learning more about you the reader or get your collective wisdom on a particularly odd or tricky spiritual concept.
But not this one.
This post is for me.
This post is written so I can keep coming back to that moment earlier tonight - to relive it and rejoice for those moments where God uses a little one to literally fill your heart and mind with light and joy.
2 comments:
that is truly one of the most awesome thing i have read in quite a while. thank you!
There's very few times I gush over what Todd Wright does or says...in the six years I have known him.
BUT...
I cannot let this one slip by. Todd, I want you to know that I think Kristen and you are one of the most Godly set of parents that I know. I have witnessed you raise your children in a manner which is honoring to the Father - and, the way I hope to raise our children one day.
You have given your children love, been a devoted father (and Kristen a devoted mother), began instilling valuable teaching, and helped them makes the steps towards a relationship with Christ.
I love you guys, and I love watching the way you love your children.
Thank you.
Post a Comment