She Ain't My Bride...

We've all got them.

"Pet peeves."

Things that drive us crazy for no good reason.
And we know this - we know that we should be better than these petty frustrations. We know that it's silly to let them bother us.

I tell you this because I know what I'm about to say is ridiculous. It's silly. It doesn't matter. It's not hurtful or consequential or meaningful in any way. It shouldn't matter.

But it does.

In fact, it drives me crazy.

You see that woman in the picture?

That's my wife, Kristen. Maybe you've met her. She's great. She's funny. She's smart. She's a good kisser, a best friend, a great mother to our kids and really into tattoos for some reason. (I'm not sure why...)

But you know what she's NOT?

My "bride."

I can't stand it when people call her my "bride." I don't know why, but it drives me crazy. I want to yell and scream and throw a phonebook across the room while shouting...

"She's my wife! My wife! My wife, I say, my wife!"

I don't know if I'm just connecting that word to an actual wedding or I feel like it doesn't really fit what Kristen and I have or if it just seems like people are trying to be cute when they say it...I just know I don't like it.

Of course, I'm sure that in ancient Hebrew or something, "bride" translates to something like LIFE-LONG-PARTNER-WHOM-GOD-HAS-PRE-ORDAINED and I'm flying in the face of God Almighty to reject this title for her. And I'm sure that if such a scriptural and holy origin does exist, one of you will definitely point it out. (I'm looking at you Johnny.)

But think about it...Do people ask Kristen, "Hey, how's your groom doing?" or "Is that your groom on the phone?"

No, they don't.

Because that would be stupid.