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Showing posts with label lark news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lark news. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

LarkNews Is Awesome...

CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa — When Rivercreek Church introduced their newly hired executive pastor last Sunday, the congregation surprised him with a chorus of boos.

"I was startled, but given the economic climate I understand," says executive pastor Bill Evans, a longtime businessman who recently took the job.

Many executive pastors around the country are facing resistance, rumor and outright hostility from laypeople who see the hand of Wall Street reaching into their once-tranquil churches.

"I heard our new executive pastor worked for a Forbes 500 company in his previous career," says one man at a church in Ft. Worth, Texas. "We don’t need a golden parachuter around here."

At Rivercreek, rumors have circulated that Evans ran several companies into the ground, collected huge bonuses and went into church work because no one else would hire him. In fact, Evans left a successful company because he felt called to the ministry.

But many aren’t buying it.

"My first thought was, ‘If they’re hiring more pastors, we must be tithing too much,’" says Tom Rayburn, a member who had never heard the term "executive pastor" and doesn’t like "the Wall Street ring of it."

"If what I’m hearing about his sweet private sector retirement package is correct then he should be paying the church rather than the church paying him," Rayburn says. "I’d like to see our contract with him."

Others suggest that the church only hired an executive pastor because the senior pastor had been overspending and the board was reining him in.

"Why else would they bring in a controller?" says one woman. "We’re all asking ourselves, what did the pastor do wrong?"

One woman at a California church tried to find executive pastors in the Bible. The best she could come up with: Judas Iscariot.

"He handled Jesus’ finances," she says conspiratorially. "What are we to make of that?"

Back at Rivercreek some believe the senior pastor just wants to make himself feel important by "gathering a posse" around himself.

"He was never above balancing the church checkbook and hiring the janitors in the past," says Doris Rogers. "Why pay someone else to do it now except for pride?"

One thing unites them all: a fierce opposition to Wall Street shenanigans.

"I’ve had people come up to me in the foyer and say, ‘Don’t try any of that bailout stuff here, Mr. Executive Pastor,’" says Evans, who plans to lay low for a while. "It’s just not a great time to be an executive pastor."
Source: LarkNews

It should be noted that LarkNews is a fictional news site. The last time I linked an article from there, I assumed that my readers knew that. Oops.

It's made up. And it's hilarious.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

LarkNews Is Awesome...

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Third Day and Superchick have become involved in what appears to be the first Christian band feud.
It began when CCM magazine ran comments by Third Day frontman Mac Powell who said he "expected more" from Superchick’s latest release.

"I’m just saying that as a band we’re praying that they will reach their full musical potential in Christ," Powell was quoted as saying. "Don’t get me wrong, their music is great. But we wonder if it could be just a little bit better."

Superchick responded on their website by stating that they "forgave Mac and the band in advance of any apology" and that they were "believing God that Third Day will once again experience original creative inspiration so they don’t have to keep recording the latest hit worship songs with a hard rock sheen."

Third Day quickly responded on their own website, saying that "no doubt Superchick knows we have a new album of completely new, rocking material." But taking the words "no doubt" as a sly reference to Superchick’s secular sound-alike, No Doubt,

Superchick followed up with a backhanded compliment by saying that Third Day "continues to pioneer that born-again Pearl Jam sound. Good for them."

Some question whether the feud is real or a publicity stunt meant to gin up sales for their new albums, both released this summer. Others fear Christian bands may follow the trend and start full-blown feuds.

"Can you imagine Michael W. Smith having it out with BarlowGirl?" says one producer. "This could get real un-pretty."

For now at least one of the bands seems ready to put the squabble behind them.

"Listen, we love those guys. Superchick rocks. No harm, no foul," said Powell recently to the website GomerNews.
Superchick has yet to respond.

Source: LarkNews

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

An Old Favorite Of Mine...

WICHITA — Worship leader Stan Burleson, recently fired from his post at First Assembly in Wichita, is looking for a church that appreciates his worship leading gift, and the vast potential of his synthesizers.

"I don't mind if people get lost in the goodness of God," he says, "but I want them to remember what got them there: the gilded, diverse tones of this wonderful instrument."

Burleson works hard to get the most out of his synthesizers, often playing two at once and switching sounds with a flick of a wrist. He bobs up and down, shakes his head and steps back from the keyboard to deliver an emphatic bang on the keys. His latest CD, "Synth Praise II," made the top 100 music sales chart in the Family Christian Bookstore in his town for a week in June.

He was released from his previous position because of a "philosophical disagreement over bell tones" with the pastor. Burleson insisted the chime-y synthesizer setting lent a "heavenly quality to times of high worship," but the pastor forbade the "tinkly noise" and complained that people couldn't find the melody.

The church also complained that Burleson's stack of keyboards had grown so high that he could no longer be seen. Burleson says he now wants to find a congregation that values the synthesizers' full capabilities. •