A now a line from one of my favorite authors in the world, Mr. David Sedaris. The following is taken from his Holidays on Ice (c) 1997 Little, Brown and Company:

"I came home this afternoon and checked the machine for a message from UPS, but the only message I got was from the company that holds my student loan, Sallie Mae. Sallie Mae sounds sounds like a naive and barefoot hillbilly girl but in fact they are a ruthless and aggressive conglomeration of bullies located in a tall brick building somewhere in Kansas. I picture it to be the tallest building in the state and I have decided they hire their employees straight out of prison. It scares me."