I don't know if I told anybody this, but last week I was moved back to the Criminal Records Department. (I've worked there off and on, but now it's permanent.)

So I'm trolling through a big list of misdemeanor charges (it was a slow morning) and I see this:

Amputation of Human Foot by Podiatrist

There are so many things wrong with this
It's only a misdemeanor?
Just human feet?
Isn't a podiatrist about the only guy you want amputating feet?